DATING ADVICE: Should you talk about exes on dates?

Women burning photo of her ex

by Rebecca Twomey |
Updated on

Closer’s dating expert, Rebecca Twomey, asks just how honest we need to be about our romantic history and if it’s ever ok to say nobody wants to date you?

For the next two months, the most popular dating show on TV, Love Island, is not only taking hold of my social life and WhatsApp conversations, but also my emotions.

Along with millions of others, I’m addicted to the drama, but I struggle to watch the islanders being ‘pied’. Which is why I wanted to give flight attendant Amy Hart, 27, a hug during her first week.

On the opening episode, she admitted she’d never had a boyfriend, adding that she always liked them but they didn’t reciprocate her feelings and she has been ‘ghosted’ a lot.

I instantly related to her, for me her vulnerability, openness and self-deprecation was endearing but then again, I’m not trying to date her. And perhaps when looking for love we should all employ a few filters on our reality.

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Darren Day and Stephanie Dooley1 of 45
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Darren Day and Stephanie Dooley

In August 2019 it came to light that Darren Day and his wife Stephanie Dooley had secretly split - two years after renewing their wedding vows. A spokesperson for the couple told Hello! magazine: "Stephanie and Darren separated back in October 2018. "It is a personal matter that they have chosen to deal with privately. There was nobody else involved on either side."The pair tied the knot in 2007 and are parents to three children; they share Madison and Dalton and the CBB star is a dad to Corey (from a previous relationship with Suzanne Shaw). Stephanie is also a mum to her son Jordan (from a former relationship).

Gabby Allen and Myles Stephenson2 of 45
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Gabby Allen and Myles Stephenson

Gabby Allen and Myles Stephenson have reportedly split after the Love Island star caught her boyfriend messaging other women. A source told The Sun: "Gabby suspected Myles had been messaging a girl a while ago, but he told her that one of his mates had used his Instagram account."Then when they were meant to be having space apart, Gabby caught him red-handed. She immediately ended the relationship."The pair first started dating in September 2018, months after she dumped Marcel Somerville for cheating.

Maya Jama and Stormzy3 of 45
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Maya Jama and Stormzy

Maya Jama and Stormzy decided to call it a day after four years together in order to focus on their careers. "Yes, I can confirm the relationship has ended and Maya has separated from Stormzy," said Maya's rep.

Sam Claflin and Laura Haddock4 of 45
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Sam Claflin and Laura Haddock

Hunger Games actor Sam Claflin and his wife Laura Haddock announced they've split six years after tying the knot. In a statement on Instagram, they wrote: "Laura and I have decided to legally separate. "We will move forward with nothing but love, friendship and a deep respect for one another whilst we continue to raise our family together."We won't be commenting on this further. Thank you in advance for your support and respecting our privacy at this time. Both of us x".

Harley Brash and Chris Taylor5 of 45
CREDIT: ITV

Harley Brash and Chris Taylor

Harley Brash and Chris Taylor became the first Love Island couple to split. They reportedly called it quits just two weeks after they left the villa.

Chanelle Hayes and Ryan Oates6 of 45
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Chanelle Hayes and Ryan Oates

Big Brother star Chanelle Hayes has split from her ex-boyfriend Ryan Oates following his alleged 'vile behaviour'. They previously split in 2017, just three months after welcoming their son Frankie into the world.

Gareth Gates and Faye Brookes7 of 45
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Gareth Gates and Faye Brookes

Gareth Gates and Faye Brookes called off their engagement in August following a seven year on-off relationship.They split briefly in September 2018, before Gareth proposed in January in New York.

lily allen and her boyfriend meridan dan8 of 45
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Lily Allen and Meridan Dan

Singer Lily Allen announced she'd split from her boyfriend Meridan Dan after a three-year relationship. She admitted on the How To Fail With Elizabeth Dan podcast: "I've always had a boyfriend. "I don't at the moment. I'm single for the first time since I was about 15."

Zayn Malik and Gigi Hadid9 of 45
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Zayn Malik and Gigi Hadid

Last year Zayn and Gigi left fans devastated when they announced they'd split but a few days later they were spotted back together again. In conclusion: watch this space. However after it appeared that the pair didn't spend New Year's together, everyone was left wondering whether they'd split and according to Us Weekly they have.A source told the publication: "They're done. They could get back together, but it's over for now."

Tanya Burr and Jim Chapman10 of 45
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Tanya Burr and Jim Chapman

Youtubers Tanya Burr and Jim Chapman, who were thought to have a joint net-worth of around 4m, split in March after four years of marriage. "Just wanted to let you all know that a few weeks ago Jim and I made the painful decision to no longer be together," said Tanya in a statement on her Instagram."We have a huge amount of love and respect for each other and will continue to remain friends forever."

Megan Barton Hanson and Wes Nelson11 of 45
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Megan Barton Hanson and Wes Nelson

Megan Barton Hanson and Wes Nelson split after a well publicised row following Wes's debut on Dancing on Ice, where he's paired with professional skater Vanessa Bauer.Despite a scathing social media take down, Megan was still in the audience cheering Vanessa and Wes on after the split.

Kaz Crossley and Josh Denzel12 of 45
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Kaz Crossley and Josh Denzel

Sob! Hot on the the heels of Megan and Wes, Love Island coupleKaz Crossley and Josh Denzel announced an amicable split on Kaz's instagram."Sometimes things don't go the way you planned, but you have to be grateful for the journey."Thank you for everything especially showing me how to love myself again ufe0f".

Nicola Thorpe and Charlie de Malo13 of 45
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Nicola Thorpe and Charlie de Melo

You know what they say – don't mix business with pleasure. This Corrie workplace romance wasn't to last as Nicole Thorpe – who plays Nicola Rubinstein – and Charlie de Melo – who plays Imran Habeeb – announced their break up just ten months after going public.

Michael Parr and Isabel Hodgins14 of 45
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Michael Parr and Isabel Hodgins

Micheal and Isabel, who first met while they both worked on Emmerdale, split after three years together. It was reported that clashing work commitments after Michael left the soap to crack America was the cause.

Adam Collard and Zara McDermot15 of 45
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Adam Collard and Zara McDermot

The third Love Island couple to fall victim to the break up in 2019, Zara and Adam parted waysafter Adam went on a wild night out with his fellow Love Island lads, Jack Fincham and Sam Bird."Sometimes in life, you just aren't enough for someone; no matter what you do for them or how much you try to be," said Zara."For everyone asking if I'm ok, I don't know that I am. But I know that soon I will be. I will be strong and prove to myself that I can get through this."

Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson16 of 45
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Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson

It's safe to say that Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson had a rocky relationship after it came to light that he had cheated on her while she was pregnant with their first child together. Despite his unfaithfulness, she allowed him to be present when she gave birth and the pair seemed to have moved on from his infidelities. However in February 2019, gossip page Hollywood Unlocked reported that there were allegations that the basketball player cheated with Kylie Jenner's best friend Jordyn Woods. Khloe and her baby daddy have now split.

Lady Gaga and Christian Carino17 of 45
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Lady Gaga and Christian Carino

Lady Gaga and Christian Carino called time on their engagement and relationship just four months after he proposed to the pop star. Her representative confirmed the news to People magazine and a source told the publication: "[It] just didn't work out."

Gemma Collins and James 'Arg' Argent18 of 45
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Gemma Collins and James 'Arg' Argent

Gemma kicked Arg out of her Essex home after he shared an unflattering video of her snoring on his social media.But 'LO! The couple were back together enjoying a romantic mini-break to Paris just days after the scandal, with Arg revealing she regularly changes the locks to her Essex home when the two of them argue.To add insult to injury, Arg did not take the turn of events well and unleashed a horrible spate of insults on the Dancing in Ice star.You are a fat joke of a woman. An absolute car crash! You're nearly 40 fucking years old, you embarrassment," he said. Gemma asked her on-off boyfriend of seven years to "please leave my home today".But he continued: "You fat horrible lump. Nasty mean woman. Who the f--k do you think you are? You've got more rolls than Greggs."They've since reunited... stay tuned.

Rita Ora and Andrew Garfield19 of 45
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Rita Ora and Andrew Garfield

Despite stepping out publicly with the Spiderman actor in November last year, Rita and Andrew have kept their romance under wraps. But in March it was revealed by an insider that "Andrew split up with her recently and it's been hard going as they had spent a lot of time together."They spent Christmas together and she thought things were going well between them. She's cut up about the situation."

Stacey Dooley Sam Tucknott20 of 45
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Stacey Dooley and Sam Tucknott

Stacey Dooley split from her long term boyfriend Sam Tucknott just months after winning 2018's Strictly Come Dancing. Sources blamed her busy rehearsal schedule and close friendship with professional dance partner Kevin Clifton for the breakdown of their relationship.

Jacquline Jossa and Dan Osbourne21 of 45
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Jacquline Jossa and Dan Osbourne

Jacqueline reportedly kicked Dan out of the family home after he was accused of getting very intimate with Love Island's Alexandra Cane on a night out in Manchester in March.Both stars' reps claimed that nothing happened, and a spokesperson for Dan said that he was moving out "temporarily" to help his nan clear her house.

Melinda Messenger and Chris Harding22 of 45
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Melinda Messenger and Chris Harding

Despite appearing on Loose Women together in November and looking the ultimate picture of happiness, Melinda and her boyfriend Chris, who she met on Celebrity First Dates last year, split. According to a source, the relationship broke down after just one argument. And it didn't take long toturn sour.

Ulrika Jonsson and Brian Monet23 of 45
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Ulrika Jonsson and Brian Monet

After 11 years of marriage, Ulrika Jonsson and Brian Monet called time on their relationship. The TV presenter and American advertising executive had marriage counselling but unfortunately things didn't work out. Ulrika told Best magazine: "You can only resolve problems with another person."If I'm honest, getting another divorce age 51 is not where I thought I would be, so who knows? I just don't know what shape my future will take."I can't contemplate dating again. Then again, I've said I will never marry again before, and I did."The pair are parents to their son Malcom, 10, in 2014 Brian adopted Ulrika's daughter Bo, 18, (from her previous relationship with Markus Kempen) and the presenter is a mum to Cameron, 24, from her former marriage to John Turnball.

Jack Fincham and Dani Dyer split24 of 45
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Jack Fincham and Dani Dyer

Love Island 2018 winners Jack Fincham and Dani Dyer called it quits in April 2019. The pair won the nation over during their time on the ITV show and many thought they'd live happily ever after however before Christmas they hit a rough patch and split. There were a lot of questions when they reunited just weeks before they hosted the NTAs red carpet together and their Love Island spin off show aired on TV. Despite their reunion, Dani moved out of their shared home and it wasn't long until Jack confirmed on Instagram that they "aren't meant to be".

Adele and Simon Konecki25 of 45
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Adele and Simon Konecki

After seven years together Adele and her husband Simon Konecki confirmed they'd split. A spokesperson for the singer said: "Adele and her partner have separated."They are committed to raising their son together lovingly. As always they ask for privacy. There will be no further comment."

Susanna Reid and Steven Parish26 of 45
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Susanna Reid and Steven Parish

Good Morning Britain co-host Susanna Reid split from her boyfriend of six months Steven Parish in April, but insisted they remain good friends. "It's very sad, but they just couldn't make it work," a source told The Sun at the time. "They both work extremely hard and there wasn't enough time for romance."

Ulrika Jonsson and Brian Monet27 of 45
CREDIT: Getty

Ulrika Jonsson and Brian Monet

Ulrika filed for divorce from her husband of over ten years, Brian Monet, in May.Despite acting as step dad to Ulrika's five kids and having one of their own, Ulrika cited their sexless marriage as grounds for divorce."There's always one thing that tips you over the edge. There's just a moment where you suddenly realise you can't do it on your own," she told the Loose Women."I really believe in counselling. I have gone on my own because I felt like I was dealing with things on my own and found it really hard to cope."

Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk28 of 45
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Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk

Bradley Cooper and his Russian model Irina Shayk ended their relationship in June, with a source citing conflicting work schedules as the reason. "They were living totally separate lives. If he was in LA, she's out of town, and if she was in town, he was out of town," they said.However, many have speculated that the split may have had something to do with Lady Gaga, who Bradley directed in last years smash A Star Is Born, and had undeniable on stage chemistry with.

Danny Walters and Lily Smith29 of 45
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Danny Walters and Lily Smith

Danny Walters split from his long term girlfriend Lily Walters in June.The couple decided to go their separate ways after five years of dating, with a source telling The Sun, "Danny and Lily still have a lot of respect for each other, but want to spend time concentrating on their own goals."They're both really young and have a lot of growing to do separately, so felt it was best to try being single."However they still remain close and have a lot of respect for each other."

Dakota Johnson and Chris Martin30 of 45
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Dakota Johnson and Chris Martin

Fifty Shades of Gray actress Dakota Johnson and Coldplay frontman Chris Martin split up in June after 18 months together. According to sources, they had been discussing future engagement plans before their split. However they've since reunited.

Tyla Carr and Rossco Edmonds31 of 45
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Tyla Carr and Rossco Edmonds

Love Island star Tyla Carr confirmed that she and her baby daddy Rossco Edmonds split seven months after welcoming their son Archie.

Alexandra Burke Josh Ginnelly32 of 45
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Alexandra Burke and Josh Ginnelly

Alexandra Burke is thought to have split from fiancé Josh Ginnelly, after holidaying in Italy without him and taking off her engagment ring. The couple successfully weathered her time in Strictly in 2017, but she's since moved on and is now dating footballe Angus MacDonald.

Jade Thirlwall and Jed Elliot33 of 45
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Jade Thirlwall and Jed Elliot

Little Mix's Jade split from her boyfriend Jed Elliot from The Struts after three years ago, with a source blaming "clashing work schedules" but said the break up was "amicable".

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth34 of 45
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Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth confirmed their split in August after less than a year of marriage. The couple dated on and off for ten years, first becoming engaged in 2012 but calling things off a year later.

Chloe Green and Jeremy Meeks35 of 45
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Chloe Green and Jeremy Meeks

Topshop heiress Chloe Green was rumoured to have split from her boyfriend of two years, Jeremy Meeks (AKA hot felon) in August after she was spotted snogging polo player Rommi Gianni on her dad's super yacht.

Jamie Foxx and Katie Holmes36 of 45
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Jamie Foxx and Katie Holmes

The A list couple have split after six years together – just three months after their first ever red carpet appearance together at the Met Gala in May, with sources claiming the added pressure of going public pushed them apart.

Chloe Brockett and Harry Lee37 of 45
CREDIT: Instagram

Chloe Brockett and Harry Lee

The TOWIE love birds called it quits following a whirlwind romance on the show, with Chloe taking to her Instagram stories to break the news to fans. "For all those asking. Me and Harry and no longer seeing eachother," she wrote. "I wish him nothing but the best but sometimes people just aren't compatible! Love, Chloe x".

Amy Childs and Ritchie38 of 45
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Amy Childs and Ritchie

Amy Childs split from the father of her second child, Ritchie, in August – less than a year after the birth. Her anonymous boyfriend was a businessman who had no interest in fame, and the couple were dating secretly for eight months before being spotted together on holiday.

Sair Khan and Simon Lennon39 of 45
CREDIT: Getty

Sair Khan and Simon Lennon

Coronation Street actress Sair Khan, who plays Alya Nazir in the soap, has split from fellow actor Simon Lennon, citing clashing work commitments as the reason. Last year we watched as Sair was welcomed home from the Jungle by Simon, but sadly they've now called it quits.

Emily Atack and Rob Jowers40 of 45
CREDIT: Getty

Emily Atack and Rob Jowers

Emily Atack reportedly split from her boyfriend of just six months, Rob Jowers, after a recent family holiday highlighted their differences.Presenting Singletown alongside Joel Dommett, it looks as though Em could be setting up home in Singletown herself.

Tina Malone and Paul Chase41 of 45
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Tina Malone and Paul Chase

Tina Malone split from her toyboy husband Paul Chase, 19 years her junior, in October, after 11 years together.Taking to her Twitter Tina confirmed the split, saying "With great sadness I wrote this myself and Paul have split up after 11 yrs together!"The couple share seven year old daughter Flame.

Charlotte Crosby and Joshua Ritchie42 of 45
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Charlotte Crosby and Joshua Ritchie

Charlotte announced her split from Josh in November after two years of dating, shortly after leaving her life in Newcastle to move to Josh's native Bolton. "Sadly the relationship seems to have broken down," she said. "Hoping we can still remain civil and wish him the best for the future."

Lucy Spraggan and Georgina  Gordon43 of 45
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Lucy Spraggan and Georgina Gordon

X Factor star Lucy Spraggan announced her split from her wife of three years Georgina Gordon on social media in November. The couple fostered 12 children during their marriage and Lucy said they would remain friends.

Rag 'n' Bone Man and Beth Ruoy44 of 45
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Rag 'n' Bone Man and Beth Ruoy

Rag 'n' Bone man split from his partner of 10 years Beth Ruoy in November after just six months of marriage. They share a two-year-old son. "He likes to keep a low profile so doesn't want to make a big deal out of it, but there are no explosive rows and he isn't likely to say anything about it," said a source.

Matt Smith and Lily Janes45 of 45
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Matt Smith and Lily James

Dr Who and The Crown actor Matt Smith split from his model girlfriend Lily James in December after five years together. There's been allegations that their hectic schedules and Matt's friendship with his The Crown co-star Claire Foy were the reason."Things haven't been right for a while, and a few months ago they decided to finally end it properly," a source told The Sun."It has been difficult because they have many mutual friends, so hopefully it will all stay civilised. But for now the relationship is formally off."

Dating advice bad date
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My friends have warned me against telling men I meet that I’ve been single for half a decade because it looks like I’m ‘undateable’ I joke that I probably am, and I don’t want to start off by lying to someone.

I know it doesn’t look great that I’ve failed to meet the man for me in all that time. But I dated a handful of guys for a few months at a time over the years it’s just never evolved into what I would describe as a relationship. Also, during those five years, I’ve had things happen in my life where dating was forced to fall to the bottom of my agenda.

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It’s inevitable that when you go on a date the other person will ask how long you’ve been single – but does that really determine how compatible you are as people?

I avoid asking that question early on and also swerve it when I’m grilled on my history. I simply say it’s not that I’m trying to hide anything I just don’t want to discuss the past right now as I’d prefer to focus on getting to know them. I’ve not had a bad response yet.

I do think it’s an important conversation to have later on – everyone is a product of their past. But maybe it’s wise in the early stages to keep some personal information that could misrepresent you.

For more dating tips from Rebecca, follow her on Twitter

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